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2004-01-21 | 6:42 p.m.
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A family friend died. It is an odd thing to think about isnt it? Trying to wrap your mind around that type of ultimate finality. He was the same age as my parents give or take a few. His kids are my age give or take another few. And his poor poor wife. My brain fights to commiserate and empathize and at the same push this subject back into the far unreachable spaces of my mind and it is just...odd. I am all mixed up, all mad that a part of my tiny circle of life memories dare move on. And I am glad that he is finally past the point of pain. And I am terrified because he was the same age as my parents and relieved too and because of that relief I am flooded with shame. So I try not to think about it, any of it, any of these emotions that rage through me and it is...odd.
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